Maybe its my time, for me to change.
Change my mind. Open it even wider!
Understand myself more but not understanding
others.
I know myself more than anyone does.. any other
things that could be happening, i'll say this to myself..
" Its all mind, over matters. "
Its useless whining over things that wouldnt change
or even take too long to change...its always been in me
that we live life all alone. We all don't die together and we
had our own lonely grave. Hm..i've got to be independent.
I kept telling my girlfriend whats worth..
now i guess, i should be telling more of that to myself..
It's seriously worthless to keep pulling myself down.
It would hurt more and more...
hm...
so yeah..now, i really really wanna thank Hafizh for lecturing
me.. Heehehee...
Its much more worth then anything else..
Thanks so much dear!
Maybe
Friday, June 25
Who's there?!!
Its just too frustrating when i used all my heart
and called you my friend, but it may not meant
much to you.
Now day, people are selfish! My eyes are open wide to
observe people movements. The way they talk and how they
treat one and other. Fron front to back. They needed someone
by them but when someone needs them, they wont
even bother to care. Well i know i cant say much,
but that's what i felt so!!
Fuck people around!
Heartless freaks!
If someone you call " Friend " , you'll sure be there for
them and help them up in all sorts. Even if it's impossible
to help out, least better then nothing , you did try your best
and at least be with them when in need.
I see the world go round. I need you, i know MAYBE you'll come.
But i understnd you cant always be there but still...
sometimes, you didnt help me out with all your heart..
it doesnt matter much but at least appreciate lil things
that you had. I know you'll have people around when in
need but having me by your side isnt enought. Right!
So yeaah...WHO'S THERE?? BESIDE ME??
IF i could say to kiss my ass and fuck of my sight!
it hurts more having a friend like this..
Thanks anyway...
ARGHHH!!!
and called you my friend, but it may not meant
much to you.
Now day, people are selfish! My eyes are open wide to
observe people movements. The way they talk and how they
treat one and other. Fron front to back. They needed someone
by them but when someone needs them, they wont
even bother to care. Well i know i cant say much,
but that's what i felt so!!
Fuck people around!
Heartless freaks!
If someone you call " Friend " , you'll sure be there for
them and help them up in all sorts. Even if it's impossible
to help out, least better then nothing , you did try your best
and at least be with them when in need.
I see the world go round. I need you, i know MAYBE you'll come.
But i understnd you cant always be there but still...
sometimes, you didnt help me out with all your heart..
it doesnt matter much but at least appreciate lil things
that you had. I know you'll have people around when in
need but having me by your side isnt enought. Right!
So yeaah...WHO'S THERE?? BESIDE ME??
IF i could say to kiss my ass and fuck of my sight!
it hurts more having a friend like this..
Thanks anyway...
ARGHHH!!!
Needed
Thursday, June 24
Hey yeah....just wanna share something bout a friend of mine.
Perhaps, a great friend of mine. Currently serving the nation.
Have been contacted quite a while..actually just a hi bye friend,
found at tagged. Never expect anything else more than friend.
But what i know, he's a great guy. Since i trusted on being just
friends, we are great buddies now. He used to always be there
to comfort me when im down. But now....its ok. Im too busy
with my things. Well, im so sorry but again it would be a
lie if i say i didnt miss him.
Frankly..for months that we had become friends.
We had never meet each other or even bump face to face. :)
Only pictures is what we see...
Well, good enought that i know how he smile. Hahaha!
So yeah, a sudden message was sent by him this morning.
Called him for a moment before bed,ask him why and where he get from.
And he say, i suddenly miss you so much and it comes from my head..
Hahahahak! Damn! :(
You're so close yet so far,
at times like this i wish upon a star.
I wish you were here and not there,
yet life is hard and unfair.
All i can do is wish and wait
until we meet for that is our fate.
Until the day i hold your face,
kiss your lips within a candle lit place.
Hold you close and feel you near,
Kiss your cheek and whisper in your ear.
Feel you skin beneath my hand,
feel your energy inside expand.
I'll wish for that moment as i always do,
and i've wished upon the stars,
it will come true.
:) Thanks Lurve!!
imysm too!
Perhaps, a great friend of mine. Currently serving the nation.
Have been contacted quite a while..actually just a hi bye friend,
found at tagged. Never expect anything else more than friend.
But what i know, he's a great guy. Since i trusted on being just
friends, we are great buddies now. He used to always be there
to comfort me when im down. But now....its ok. Im too busy
with my things. Well, im so sorry but again it would be a
lie if i say i didnt miss him.
Frankly..for months that we had become friends.
We had never meet each other or even bump face to face. :)
Only pictures is what we see...
Well, good enought that i know how he smile. Hahaha!
So yeah, a sudden message was sent by him this morning.
Called him for a moment before bed,ask him why and where he get from.
And he say, i suddenly miss you so much and it comes from my head..
Hahahahak! Damn! :(
You're so close yet so far,
at times like this i wish upon a star.
I wish you were here and not there,
yet life is hard and unfair.
All i can do is wish and wait
until we meet for that is our fate.
Until the day i hold your face,
kiss your lips within a candle lit place.
Hold you close and feel you near,
Kiss your cheek and whisper in your ear.
Feel you skin beneath my hand,
feel your energy inside expand.
I'll wish for that moment as i always do,
and i've wished upon the stars,
it will come true.
:) Thanks Lurve!!
imysm too!
BetterBeDead
Sunday, June 20
Damn! Damn! It's 2.41am...Fcking bored!!
Again couldnt sleep! Insomnia siaa! Heehehhe!
Its been few months i could sleep early..
unless i really am tired. Hm...what could i do man!
unless i really am tired. Hm...what could i do man!
I slept at 5am yesterday! Cause that's the time when
i felt sleepy. Waalaaaau..! Who would bother to stare
the ceiling and f**king wait for sleep!! warrghhh!
No i cant!!
BETTER BE DEAD DEE!!
IT IS SOO FCKING FRUSTRATING!!!
GIG!!
Saturday, June 19
Damn! Couldn't missed this one! And shouldn't!!
Its been kinda "long" siaaa...Hahahahhak!!
So yeeah! Maybe taking off from work or maybe, asking
for replacement on this 25th June!! Waaarghhhhhh!!
Hahahhaahk!!
Damn AGAIN!! 27th June have to make myself free.
Again off or either replacement..hahahahak!
I really really don't wanna miss this two days seey..
Hm...
Especially 25th & 27th...huh? same right! hahahahahk!
But it would be great if i could turn up for the 25th june.
As for 27th i just really wanna go cause of interest. :)
So yeeah....
DIE DIE DONT WNNA MISS IT!!
DAAAAAANMMM!
Give up!
Friday, June 18
I don't know what to do now. Im so busy.
Friends around me, needs someone by them. I can't be
there to all of them, cause i myself in need of someone
too. Im also packed with work on weekdays so as weekends.
Its weird that i could advice my friends, but as
for myself..it's kinda cranky. Well, it always happens
that way.
When im in need of only this one, another one came in
need of me.Hm..but deep inside, maybe i know who could
really make me smile hard without pain. Hm...
So what's going on now.
Dragging my lips to streatch a smile..
Hm...whatever dee..
Friends around me, needs someone by them. I can't be
there to all of them, cause i myself in need of someone
too. Im also packed with work on weekdays so as weekends.
Its weird that i could advice my friends, but as
for myself..it's kinda cranky. Well, it always happens
that way.
When im in need of only this one, another one came in
need of me.Hm..but deep inside, maybe i know who could
really make me smile hard without pain. Hm...
So what's going on now.
Dragging my lips to streatch a smile..
Hm...whatever dee..
KillMe
Monday, June 14
IfOnlyADaggerCouldPierceDeepInMyHeartAndIShellSleepForever.
Empty
Thursday, May 27
Its always different now and then. But now, I had
almost everyone around. I can go anywhere with accompany.
Like hanging-out late night, meeting my friends anytime
i want, going to work, going sis's home when I feel like
it and also meeting him. All so occupied around me, but still..
i felt so empty. I just need something or someone there, by
my side. Feeling occupied not only externally but also internally.
He could but maybe sometimes he doesn't know how or so....
and i know someone who could but it's so impossible since then.
To be frank, i kinda missed those times. I cant tell straight as in
what i meant. But how i wish at least someone could really
read my heart. Serious shyt, im not being emotional here..
it's just the fact after all. If only i could be occupied....by..
hm...
Hush Dee, Hush.
almost everyone around. I can go anywhere with accompany.
Like hanging-out late night, meeting my friends anytime
i want, going to work, going sis's home when I feel like
it and also meeting him. All so occupied around me, but still..
i felt so empty. I just need something or someone there, by
my side. Feeling occupied not only externally but also internally.
He could but maybe sometimes he doesn't know how or so....
and i know someone who could but it's so impossible since then.
To be frank, i kinda missed those times. I cant tell straight as in
what i meant. But how i wish at least someone could really
read my heart. Serious shyt, im not being emotional here..
it's just the fact after all. If only i could be occupied....by..
hm...
Hush Dee, Hush.
Different Minds
Wednesday, May 19
Yesterday, without intention..just hang-out after work
since we ended early. All i wanted is to hang-out with
a close great buddy but went to jamming. So came down
damn damn late. Its okay then...before that i hang-out with
my friend's friend. Didnt know them till we had long
conversations. Its kinda weird cause i did so much talking too.
And in fact, we talk about knowlegdes and generations of
my scene...damn, so interesting that i didnt had a glance on
my watch. Hehehe!
Everything was very open. I had my point and so were
they. Still we had also talk bout Love&Lust.
I get really damn irritated when they say that i know
nothing much, still a kid, lets cut the topic out.
What's the prob, im so used to it. Infact, like i say,
i've got my own point of whatever it is..just shoot me.
Heehehe! They did shoot me. and yeaah...
They did understand me at last. They say im going
around bushes but again, i explain and explain and
at last they smile and say yeah true, yeah correct, thats
the fact. Heehehe! Damn..again...everyone has their own
mindset. Its either they wanna fight for it or they
wanna listen to others. Hehehe...useless...
Still again, finding a good time to hang-out again.
Talk about all this things. My scene and all other craps.
But im sorry for my friend cause she dun talk scene.
Then she left, so i had a whole lot to ask and answer bout
anything. Till my Great Friend came, i had to go... hmm...
since we ended early. All i wanted is to hang-out with
a close great buddy but went to jamming. So came down
damn damn late. Its okay then...before that i hang-out with
my friend's friend. Didnt know them till we had long
conversations. Its kinda weird cause i did so much talking too.
And in fact, we talk about knowlegdes and generations of
my scene...damn, so interesting that i didnt had a glance on
my watch. Hehehe!
Everything was very open. I had my point and so were
they. Still we had also talk bout Love&Lust.
I get really damn irritated when they say that i know
nothing much, still a kid, lets cut the topic out.
What's the prob, im so used to it. Infact, like i say,
i've got my own point of whatever it is..just shoot me.
Heehehe! They did shoot me. and yeaah...
They did understand me at last. They say im going
around bushes but again, i explain and explain and
at last they smile and say yeah true, yeah correct, thats
the fact. Heehehe! Damn..again...everyone has their own
mindset. Its either they wanna fight for it or they
wanna listen to others. Hehehe...useless...
Still again, finding a good time to hang-out again.
Talk about all this things. My scene and all other craps.
But im sorry for my friend cause she dun talk scene.
Then she left, so i had a whole lot to ask and answer bout
anything. Till my Great Friend came, i had to go... hmm...
Again?
Monday, May 17
I don't know why but im still wondering.
There's always a moment or days that i'll feel so down
and low. The feeling of depression came without
anything else in mind that is bothering me.
But still im a semi-nocturnal. HAHA!! LAME!
Its really hard for me. Great enough could still balance
up everything for the noon and could still joke around and
make noises too. Maybe i had some medical condition?
Hehe! Choy!
Hm..its really restless when that feeling came by.
All i wanted is just to pour and thats where the
satisfaction came by. But no such things like Suicidal
Toughts okay. Thats Lamer than anything else..
I love my life. We all got a reason to live. Its all
just our choice to make it going or whatever crap
in whatever crap ways right. Heehe..
But seriously, the sensation of pouring is so satisfying
although if you think it's still lame. It just the way i
handle things. BUT sometimes, we cant always
handle things emotionally or else we'll be dead meat.
We should also be as tough as rocks to overcome thing
or feeling and all craps and bullshits....etc.. :)
I believe we could be so soft on the outside but inside
us, we just have to be tough. No one will be perfectly
good to us, if you get what i mean. Sometimes, in life,
it's also about challenges. Thats why, i say to myself..
Never make my Kindness as a Weakness.
*wink* !!
